30 and aligned

Welcome back, lovely readers,

On Saturday, May 20th, I celebrated my 30th birthday, and I can hardly believe I've reached this milestone. Reflecting on my journey through my 20s, I'm grateful for my unwavering curiosity that led me to explore new ventures and embrace different paths. Now, at this stage of my life, I feel grounded and inspired by everything I'm engaged in.

Today, I want to share my experience at a wellness retreat I attended on my birthday. It was a significant moment to set intentions and confront some of my fears (of which I have quite a few, if you ask me).

The retreat was called Soul Activation and was hosted by a gentleman named Dan P, affiliated with Spirit Breathwork. Prior to this, I hadn't been involved with this company. However, while searching for a wellness retreat around my birthday, I stumbled upon it on Facebook. (My spirit team told me that I was meant to go to a retreat for my birthday, so I researched around and long behold I found this retreat that was actually on my birthday, isn't it wild that it aligned perfectly with my birthday?).

The group of people who attended the retreat was pure and beautiful, and the overall vibe was uplifting. As someone with Costochondritis, an inflammation of the breastbone muscles, I often struggle with breathwork sessions. This condition tends to flare up when I shout during my fitness classes or take deep breaths regularly. Unfortunately, the retreat's breathwork sessions exacerbated the inflammation, and even now, I'm still dealing with the consequences on my chest.

During the retreat's breathwork exercises, I experienced both physical chest pain and intense anxiety. The sounds of people crying, laughing, and making loud breathing noises around me heightened my unease. I came very close to leaving, feeling a strong urge to escape. However, something within me recognized that this discomfort was something I needed to face. In 2021, I confronted some of the most intense anxieties of my life, and it struck me that the breathwork was bringing my anxiety to the surface for release, just as others around me were shedding tears. This retreat became a revelation, exposing my tendency to flee when faced with discomfort. It made me realize that my anxiety and worries trigger a flight response in my nervous system. I recalled numerous instances where, during difficult times, my response was to run away. This awareness was a profound realization for me.

Additionally, the retreat brought to light the need for my body to heal. I've been dealing with some health issues lately, and the retreat sessions emphasized the necessity of giving my body time to recover. It communicated that I should refrain from weight training and any exercise that isn't part of my usual group fitness classes for which I get paid. This means I'll only be doing spin twice a week and a lightweight class called 'tummy, hips, and thighs’ once a week. Admittedly, it's been a challenge for my ego to accept this change since I love exercising so much. However, I must prioritize listening to my body's needs. It's essential to avoid placing additional stress on myself and focus on resting as much as possible, limiting exercise solely to paid work. Unfortunately, this decision also means stepping down from YouTube, which disappoints me greatly. However, it's crucial for my body's well-being, and I need to avoid any additional sources of stress. As part of my healing journey, my body is craving nourishment through food, particularly raw food and incorporating celery juices. I'm committed to listening and responding to these needs.

This retreat underscored the power of like-minded friendships and the positive aspects of spirituality, something my soul has been yearning for. I'm eager to connect with other spiritually aligned individuals who understand me at my core and with whom I can forge healthy and deep connections. Participating in this retreat revealed the incredible benefits of embracing spirituality in a healthy way and connecting with others through spiritual rituals. I realized how much I missed this connection, and my heart overflowed with joy and love throughout the retreat. Spirituality has always allowed me to connect with my true self, providing a sense of home that no other experience can replicate. This was precisely what I needed to welcome my 30s.

Lastly, I faced the challenge of an ice bath during the retreat. It was incredibly tough for me, and my breathing became difficult. Everything inside me screamed to escape, but the support and encouragement from everyone kept me going. We had to endure the ice bath for two minutes, and I managed to complete it despite the discomfort. I felt immensely proud of myself for persevering. The exercise required us to release a limiting belief, and mine was "I don't feel good enough to have what I want." Conquering this belief will be an ongoing journey in my life.

So, here I am at 30, having delved into spiritual work to usher in this new decade. I've made adjustments to my current routines to align with my goals: writing my book, completing my yoga teacher training studies, engaging in more yoga practice, refraining from extra exercise and YouTube, and actively seeking spiritual circles to meet new friends.

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Until next time,

Vee xx