.png)
Welcome back, lovely readers,
I’m finally feeling back to my normal self since the wellness retreat and my birthday weekend. I felt so run down since that wellness retreat, I felt a lot was releasing and shifting from what came up from that experience.
Today, I wanted to speak about some things that I’m currently working through since diving back into spiritual rituals and practices.
I want to make this blog a safe space for me to express myself, in the hope to talk about topics that might sound taboo and for me to speak about topics that I wouldn’t speak about in an Instagram post. I feel if you have landed here, you have chosen to be here to see my blogs. This outlet is a place that feels safe for me to talk about these topics and hopefully may resonate with you in some way around your life as well.
At this moment I am navigating the acceptance of myself. I’ve always struggled with my body image and having to look a certain way to look appealing. This runs so deeply to my childhood and my early 20s of seeking approval from men particularly to be good-looking. This desire was the result of finding fitness which in hindsight worked out for me as I am so incredibly passionate about fitness and love it so much. However, this wound of not looking or being good enough is very real for me. I find I can hyperfocus on my body changes, my physical appearance, and signs of age that is coming up for me. I understand being 30 isn’t exactly old or is an age that shows the signs of getting old, but the hyperfocus on my appearance is something I am being shown to heal. I find I have tried too hard to work on this in the past, and it did result in some minor changes in my mindset and acceptance, but as we know with any sort of healing, there are layers and layers to heal.
So I am in a phase of my growth and development to work on accepting myself physically and from within. This will probably be an everlasting process to work through, but I know I cannot keep worrying about how I look anymore. This was part of the reason why I’m making changes in my fitness routine and eating habits to stop the excessive exercising and typical diet culture approach to food.
Another focus point that I am healing right now is to stop doubting myself. I have been the doubt queen for too long. I have always doubted myself in everything I do. Doubting my career choices, doubting my decisions, doubting my relationships, and even doubting spirituality. This has been going on far too long and I consciously want to work on this. Recently the universe tested me around this. I was told something by spirit and I didn’t check in with myself to see if I agreed to that, I just accepted that if spirit said it, then it was always right. It’s funny how spirit throws tests on you, even if you think they are always right. My intuition told me another truth that randomly came to me and it appeared to be the complete opposite of what I was told by spirit.
This situation brought so much doubt to me. I doubted myself, the universe, and my feelings and it just caused a lot of overthinking and worry around ‘what was my absolute truth’. Once the doubts started to release, I got the message from my intuition. I needed to trust myself always first, and that the universe is teaching me and helping me grow every day. This recent experience has shown me to start to work on this self-doubt that I have about myself and that I need to trust myself.
As I said in my last blog, I always flee when I feel uncomfortable. I am trying my best not to fall into that pattern around facing my fears or feelings of being uncomfortable, especially around my personal growth. Body acceptance and self-doubt are the two main points that I am wanting to actively work on at the moment.
In terms of anything else that is happening for me, I am wanting to really focus my time on my book at the moment. I am feeling called to step away from being so active on Instagram and social media as a whole, to really focus on my creativity. This feels very right for me at the moment. I cannot have any distractions right now and need to put my head down to write this book. I will only be blogging from now on to when I have something important to share. This could be weekly or maybe even fortnightly.
I am hoping you enjoy the rest of your day.
Until next time,
Vee xx
Comentários